Denise,I can totally relate to what you are saying - but as hard as this may be - and believe me - I know from first hand experience just how hard it is!  (Long story on my own history, but I'll skip it!)  I too am supposed to try to be as 'unstressed as possible' - for me, it was a daughters wedding - and old "friends".Let me just say - although you don't have to "forgive" this cousin - though ideally you should - not so much for them as for you - I will tell you, if you can at least 'Let go, and Let God' - or at least make peace with this person and the family in whole, you will not only be taking the higher road, but also reduce your stress level as well!Don't carry a grudge or plan 'revenge'.  And - do NOT hurt the innocent (your niece and other family members) by letting this hurtful incident divide your family.  Inevitably, no one will 'win' in this situation - though you will do a lot more for creating family unity if you can just let it go, and make peace.  Let go, and let God (or your own 'greater power' if you will) take care of the judgements.  In my case, I called the people whom I'd had the falling out with, and told them, that I was just calling to let them know that I was making peace with the situation.  I ended up calling my older son (who felt responsible for much of the conflict) and just told him, that I had already called the people and had made peace with our past.  He was stunned.  He then called his sister (who had refused to talk to me - as had her husband-to-be) and passed along the events that had unfolded.  They then called me, to express their amazement - and pride in my taking not only a higher road - but going beyond their wildest dreams, of a possible 'future outcome'.  At the bachelorette party, I met up with my former friends - and we hugged.  Our friendship is not what it once was - I don't think it ever will be, but at least there is a far more 'friendly' relationship in place.  We even talk on the phone sometimes now - where we didn't speak to each other for many years before.Does their previous behavior still hurt me? - Yes.  Do I let it bog me down? - No.  Have I really 'let go, and let God'? - Yes, I believe I have.  I do care about my former friends, and their kids, and more than that, I care about my own kids - and carrying a grudge around is a heavy load indeed.  Let go of the grudge, let God take that burden from you.  Make peace.  It will all work out much better than you can imagine!

By Dawn on 2:53 PM

I really don't pay attention to my children - why pay attention to siblings? I don't have time for that!! JESUS everyone wants a piece of us.  Something has to give.  Siblings and children only want our $$ and our time. I am short on both so I say SCRAM SIBLING and if she wants to get upset I say GET UPSET! If I don't care about my child crying I ain't going to care about you crying.  You always ate all the french fries when we were "sharing" and you broke my dang bicycle - I ain't forgetting BIATCH!

By Dummy on 10:08 PM