• Linda said:

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  Seems like each of my children at one some time tried to initiate a door slamming phase when they got angry or upset.  These phases never really got off the ground because they quickly discovered that it was not fun having to open and close their bedroom door quietly 50 times in a row with mom or dad looking on and keeping count.

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The door slamming phase didn't last long at my house either. we took the door away one day the first time, two days the  second time and so on. Not one of my  three  boys slammed the door more than six or seven times total because they all hated when i  took they're bedroom door off the hinges

By Farrah on 9/30/2009

• alexine said:

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  • Lakeiya said:

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    I have six kids and every last one of them are very well behaved. From the time my kids were toddlers and tried to throw tantrums, I pop their little thighs. After two encounters of throwing themselves on the floor we did not have that problem any more. Parents need to be consistent with their discipline with their kids. Kids will try you to see how far they go, if you put an end to it quick they will not try it again. Every where we go, people always commend me on how well manner my kids are. My kids know if they act a fool anywhere with me, I do not mind acting one with them. I will tear their behinds up. Now I just give my kids the look and they automatic straighten up. Now my kids are now 13, 11, 11, 10, 9, and 8. And I have other parents come to me and ask can I give them advice on how to handle their unruly child. My advice to other parents: You can not be both parent and friend to your child, be a parent at all times. When they are grown and out of the house, you can be their friend also.

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  absolutely, we as parents must disipline our children, when they are unruly. I was in walmart and a child perhaps about four years old was in the shopping cart screaming because the mother would not buy her a toy, this child got on everyones  last nerve, you could hear her throughout the whole store. people were making comments, saying what they would do to that child, i was no exception. this child was horrible sounding. behold that mother rolled that cart my way, i watched this child scream at the top of her lungs not shedding a tear. my daughter whom was with me said, MOM DONT DO IT. i didnt her. all i could hear was that child.  i walked up to that shopping cart and said,SHUTUP ALL THAT NOISE, RIGHT NOW. IMMEDIATETLY she was just as quiet as she could be. the mother moved her lips and said thank you . i guess she needed that and so did everyone else.  The biggest lie that was ever told is you should not spank your child. contrary to what these so called experts say, which probably dont have children, the Word Of God says, spare the rod,spoils the child. of course anything spoiled is rotten. I wonder if that is the problem with todays children, because i have seen some rotten chilren. Parents love your kids, dont call them names, dont hurt them, but spank their butts when they need it, and then they wont be whipping on you later. 
  

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I don't know where you were but in my hometown, if you were to even think of screaming at someone'schild you would get screamed at right back or reported  People around here are very confrontationalor in denial  so Hats off to you for making a diffrence that day but don't expect to get so lucky nexttime   Screaming at a screamer doesn't always work either  That child just may have been verycomfortable with their mother but very shy around strangers

By Debbie on 9/23/2009

• alexine said:

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  • Lakeiya said:

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    I have six kids and every last one of them are very well behaved. From the time my kids were toddlers and tried to throw tantrums, I pop their little thighs. After two encounters of throwing themselves on the floor we did not have that problem any more. Parents need to be consistent with their discipline with their kids. Kids will try you to see how far they go, if you put an end to it quick they will not try it again. Every where we go, people always commend me on how well manner my kids are. My kids know if they act a fool anywhere with me, I do not mind acting one with them. I will tear their behinds up. Now I just give my kids the look and they automatic straighten up. Now my kids are now 13, 11, 11, 10, 9, and 8. And I have other parents come to me and ask can I give them advice on how to handle their unruly child. My advice to other parents: You can not be both parent and friend to your child, be a parent at all times. When they are grown and out of the house, you can be their friend also.

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  absolutely, we as parents must disipline our children, when they are unruly. I was in walmart and a child perhaps about four years old was in the shopping cart screaming because the mother would not buy her a toy, this child got on everyones  last nerve, you could hear her throughout the whole store. people were making comments, saying what they would do to that child, i was no exception. this child was horrible sounding. behold that mother rolled that cart my way, i watched this child scream at the top of her lungs not shedding a tear. my daughter whom was with me said, MOM DONT DO IT. i didnt her. all i could hear was that child.  i walked up to that shopping cart and said,SHUTUP ALL THAT NOISE, RIGHT NOW. IMMEDIATETLY she was just as quiet as she could be. the mother moved her lips and said thank you . i guess she needed that and so did everyone else.  The biggest lie that was ever told is you should not spank your child. contrary to what these so called experts say, which probably dont have children, the Word Of God says, spare the rod,spoils the child. of course anything spoiled is rotten. I wonder if that is the problem with todays children, because i have seen some rotten chilren. Parents love your kids, dont call them names, dont hurt them, but spank their butts when they need it, and then they wont be whipping on you later. 
  

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By Debbie on 9/23/2009

Sometimes I made wise choices, other times I needed help in this department  but one thing is for sure: When dealing with anger, it is not always advisable to fight fire with fire  Watch yourown temper tantrums when dealing with theirs   A simple sit down, providing getting their attentionis an option and a heart to heart talk to let them express what exactly is upsetting them   Work ona solution but go halfway  Don't just let them have their total way and spoil them  Make sure theystill know their place in your home

By Debbie on 9/23/2009

• Lakeiya said:

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  I have six kids and every last one of them are very well behaved. From the time my kids were toddlers and tried to throw tantrums, I pop their little thighs. After two encounters of throwing themselves on the floor we did not have that problem any more. Parents need to be consistent with their discipline with their kids. Kids will try you to see how far they go, if you put an end to it quick they will not try it again. Every where we go, people always commend me on how well manner my kids are. My kids know if they act a fool anywhere with me, I do not mind acting one with them. I will tear their behinds up. Now I just give my kids the look and they automatic straighten up. Now my kids are now 13, 11, 11, 10, 9, and 8. And I have other parents come to me and ask can I give them advice on how to handle their unruly child. My advice to other parents: You can not be both parent and friend to your child, be a parent at all times. When they are grown and out of the house, you can be their friend also.

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absolutely, we as parents must disipline our children, when they are unruly. I was in walmart and a child perhaps about four years old was in the shopping cart screaming because the mother would not buy her a toy, this child got on everyones  last nerve, you could hear her throughout the whole store. people were making comments, saying what they would do to that child, i was no exception. this child was horrible sounding. behold that mother rolled that cart my way, i watched this child scream at the top of her lungs not shedding a tear. my daughter whom was with me said, 'MOM DON'T DO IT. i didn't her. all i could hear was that child.  i walked up to that shopping cart and said,SHUTUP ALL THAT NOISE, RIGHT NOW. IMMEDIATETLY she was just as quiet as she could be. the mother moved her lips and said thank you . i guess she needed that and so did everyone else.  The biggest lie that was ever told is you should not spank your child. contrary to what these so called experts say, which probably don't have children, the Word Of God says, spare the rod,spoils the child. of course anything spoiled is rotten. I wonder if that is the problem with today's children, because i have seen some rotten chilren. Parents love your kids, don't call them names, don't hurt them, but spank their butts when they need it, and then they won't be whipping on you later. 

By alexine on 9/16/2009

I have six kids and every last one of them are very well behaved. From the time my kids were toddlers and tried to throw tantrums, I pop their little thighs. After two encounters of throwing themselves on the floor we did not have that problem any more. Parents need to be consistent with their discipline with their kids. Kids will try you to see how far they go, if you put an end to it quick they will not try it again. Every where we go, people always commend me on how well manner my kids are. My kids know if they act a fool anywhere with me, I do not mind acting one with them. I will tear their behinds up. Now I just give my kids the "look" and they automatic straighten up. Now my kids are now 13, 11, 11, 10, 9, and 8. And I have other parents come to me and ask can I give them advice on how to handle their unruly child. My advice to other parents: You can not be both parent and friend to your child, be a parent at all times. When they are grown and out of the house, you can be their friend also.

By Lakeiya on 9/2/2009

I never had any problems with my daughter while in public, she would wait until we got home and then act up, throw a tantrum ect. I just sent her to ehr room, no radio or tv until she was done, if she did something really bad I would take something of hers away and she would get it back when she apologized.

By Mary on 8/18/2009

Start when they are very young.  Make sure they know what you expect and be very firm.  My kids knew they would NEVER get anything by whining or throwing a fit.  If one started to act up at a store the rule was "one hand on the cart".  At home they were sent to their rooms to scream into a pillow.  Oddly enough that worked.  I raised four kids by myself, they knew it was a dictatorship not a democratic system in our house.  Give them lots of love all the time, it does help. 

By Sandra on 8/16/2009

HI, new here, but like this topic because I often receive compliments on how well behaved my children are which makes me very proud.  That's not to say they don't have their moments, but as far as discipline I do a lot of positive reinforcement.  Not just, "great job", but saying why they did a great job for example, "thank you so much for feeding your baby sister for me, it really helped me by allowing me get dinner started.  You are a fantastic sister and daughter!" Something like that so they know exactly what I appreciate and not just an empty praise.  My children also don't know that they have the option of not doing something we tell them to do because we are consistent and follow through.  For example, they know when I say it's time to go, I mean it's time to go.  If they don't listen to me the first time I count to 5 and they know if I get to 5 they lose a privilige.  Such as computer time, tv or early bed time ( my kids are 6 and 4 and a 4 mnth old).Manners and respect is a must.  They use yes ma'am and no ma'am with all adults.  They thank me or their Dad (whomever cooked) for dinner and asked to be excused from the table.  They clear their own plates and put them in the dishwasher.  They have chores appropriate to their age and they are not rewarded monitarily.  They do them simply because everyone who lives in this house must contribute.  When they apologize for something, they don't simply say, "sorry".  They must tell why their sorry so they will learn to be empathetic and not just mundanely say the words.The most important with all of the above is that we have fun all the time and act silly.  When doing chores we sing and sometimes play cinderella or act like we are monsters.  I want our children to be loving fun and respectful, so leading by example is key.

By Michelle on 8/12/2009

Consitancy. I have a 20 year old and a 6 year old. Consistancy and discipline are the key.We teach and expect RESPECT,  we teach morals and values. There are consequences for disrespect. disobedience.. although rarely used. (Most of the time it was privilages  being revoked)We also use this "Do you need to be corrected?" NO  is the response the child usually gives. If not then I will be glad to correct you.

By Valerie on 8/12/2009

I have found that praising children when they are good is one of the best things you can do. they love to be told they have done well and you are proud of them and they will work harder to be good when they know that you notice. When temper tantrums roll in just ignore them as best you can, DONT feed into them!

By Rosemary on 8/8/2009

Be a person of your word. If you say it follow thru with it.  Do not refer to your children as the kids in introduction but as a person with a positive point, such as this is my daughter ... who is an excelant dancer. not only do they feel good about their self, but will respond in fact to their sibling that way.

By Sandra on 7/29/2009

We are a blended household.. and .. have found "creative"ways to be fair... such as drawing toothpicks.. and using post it nots to communicate.. when words may explode out of control.... I would say the best advise would be .... dont overindulge..... dont make promises you cant keep... and .... be consistent... kids really want a routine... of some sort.. doesnt mean.. drill seargent..lol.. but.. some sort of routine.. and love..love..love... even if its the tough kind!

By Jacque on 7/29/2009

Say what you mean and mean what you say!  If they've gone shopping with me and we aren't gonna buy toys (they have to earn them or wait for birthdays, Christmas, etc.) I'll talk to them in the car before we go inside and remind them that they aren't getting any toys so don't ask.  It really works, unless they're tired and then shame on me for keeping them out so long! 

By Edna on 7/29/2009

when my daughter has a temper tantrum or whines for something I simply look her in the eye and say, "Do you honestly think that this behavior will get you what you want? That simply does not work with me." Believe it or not because I say this every time and I do not give in, it only took her a few times to realize that I was serious and she was wasting her time!

By Jeanie on 7/25/2009

Avoid tantrum causing situations.  Too long at the store, up past bedtime or missed a nap, due to eat... these are all the times a child is more likely to act up.  A child will never tell mom or dad, "I'm hungry that's why I'm stomping my foot and crying about not pushing the elevator button!"

By Rebecca on 7/25/2009

• Veronica said:

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  I started early in each of my boys lives to let them know that temper tantrums were not acceptable behavior and told them to go in their bedrooms until they had calmed down enough for us to discuss the issue at hand.  Whenever they pulled out the I hate you! message, I would tell them that they wouldnt hate me forever and that I still loved them.  They also learned very early that the grocery stores, restaurants, and other public places were not their playgrounds and explained to them what kind of behavior I expected from them when we would be taking them to one of these places.  If I even got the slightest inkling that a temper tantrum was about to erupt, I would ask them if I needed to take them out to the car with me.  If we ended up sitting out in the car, I reminded them that type of behavior was not acceptable since it would not allow the other people in the public place to enjoy their activities and the others deserved to enjoy their time at the place.  Always after any discussions we had of this type, I would hug them and kiss them and told them I knew how well behaved they could be when they gave it an effort. 
  As parents, we told them they were allowed to express their opinions on any subject matter as long as they followed the rules we had set in advance on how it was to be discussed - no yelling on their part, no use of offensive or obscene language, and that we [parents] would listen.  Once they had expressed their opinions, we acknowledged their opinions and when necessary, commented on their opinions and discussed ways of looking at the situation in different manner.  I think they showed more respect toward us for using this practice in discussing differences in our own opinions.  If their reasoning was good enough, we would compliment them for thinking it through and they were rewarded by us changing our opinions on occasion (depending on the issues at hand), or explaining our reasons for sticking with our opinions on the subject.
  Of course, there were days when things did not go perfectly with our sons and it still happens now from time to time even though they are much older (First son is 33, second is 28).  We would not be a normal family if some situations did not go well, but it is a great deal easier to get through those times than it was when they were younger.  They grew up knowing every day we loved them regardless of the circumstances that might arise on any given day,  we demonstrated a gigantic amount of patience at times, and they knew we would never give up on them.
  

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I loved your comment on what to say when the child tells you they hate you.  My daughter has just recently started saying this to me and I have been lost for a response.  I am almost anxious for her to say it again so that I can try this out.    Thanks for the ideas!

By MILISSA on 7/24/2009

get down to their level, look them in their eyes and speak quietly,  I have 3 boys ranging from 4 years old to 8 years old and have only had to do this once with each one.  They never throw fits for stuff they may want, and appreciate things more when they do finally get something they wanted.

By Vidella on 7/21/2009

If you are at home ignore the child just walk away and let them scream cry and carry on - when theyget no reaction or attention from you they have no reason to continue the behavior. My 2 yr old granddaughter had exactly 2 tantrems and now we are done with that.

By pat on 7/20/2009

I start firm and strong, I give hugs and kisses when my kids deserve that, and when they are naughty I either give them a time-out, which works for my kids, or send them up to their room. but  if they only need the dicipline.

By Laurie on 7/18/2009

I have 2 teenage boys who are well behaved. This didn't happen overnight! My husband I and started teaching manners, setting boundaries, letting them know why they should not act in certain ways and complimenting good behavior as soon as they were old enough to commincate. You have to be consistent, which can be tiresome, but it lets the child know that you are serious and sets the boundaries. My husband and I always back each other up too. We do not go against each other in discipline, the way our home is run or even rewards for good behavior. Our boys are 13 and 15 now and are very often complimented by family and people that we meet in passing. They still have their moments (they are teens!) but we communicate to work things out.  Consistency is key and being their parent not their buddy.

By Melanie on 7/16/2009

I have a toddler and the best trick at the stage is to have healthy snacks ready. It is a great distraction for her.

By Erika on 7/16/2009

Well behaved kids comes from teaching your kids right from wrong. Holding them responsible for their actions with consequences according to age level. Things can be taken away for instant results in attitude changes such as taking away the computer, cell phone, t.v. , and games I use a week and do not give in they loose these things for the full week and you will notice results in a flash. The key is do not give in hold your ground no matter what. They will think twice before disrespecting you or your spouse, or misbehaving in public or talking back even if it is under their breath. They will treat you like a queen til they get their items back, as well as think twice before behaving badly. Works great with teens as well as loosing the car for a week!!

By Kay on 7/16/2009

I completely agree with the imitating them theory. My son is only one but if he is anything like me he will be in the terrible 2's for 10 years! I tried this one day with my friends 2 year old, he had learned to fear "the hand" you know that whole raise the hand with a threatening look due to what I think was too many spankings. So instead of listening he would get more hysterical. One day my friend was about to lose her mind when he was throwing a fit so I got down on the floor and imitated him. He stopped dead in his tracks. This will be my method of stopping a tantrum!

By Aimee on 7/15/2009